Jolly Jokers Gifts

'Oh, I believe in Santa Claus. I'm just not a fanatic about it.'

The last judgement

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

Black is slimming, but it can't perform miracles.

'You smell like mothballs.'

Santa School.

'I should have used the glow from your nose sooner, Rudolph, and Jennifer's toys wouldn't be at Joe's.'

Santa with naughty boy on lap

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Fleas Navidad.

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Merry Christmas"

Batman's Baby

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Santa's Helpers

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Photobooth Photobomb

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Giggle.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Maybe this year..."