Jolly Jokers Pillows

'Oh, I believe in Santa Claus. I'm just not a fanatic about it.'

The last judgement

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

Black is slimming, but it can't perform miracles.

'You smell like mothballs.'

Santa School.

'I should have used the glow from your nose sooner, Rudolph, and Jennifer's toys wouldn't be at Joe's.'

Santa with naughty boy on lap

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Photobooth Photobomb

Santa's Helpers

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Maybe this year..."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Elf of the Month

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.