Festival Jokers Gifts

Turkey draws picture of a human.

Night of the Latkes

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Photobooth Photobomb

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Giggle.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Ice-Cube-IV

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Santa Claws...

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Minnesota Weather.

Musical Accidents

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

Skiing

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

Rudolph Red Light District

'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'

Santa's Sleigh Accident

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'If you are a good boy, Santa will bring you the tires next year.'

'When you said we were having a turkey for Christmas dinner I didn't think you meant your Uncle George!'

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."