Festive Jokers Gifts

Good Dog!...Bad dog!...Good dog!....Nice dog!...Very bad dog!....Good dog!....Good dog!...Naughty dog!..."

'If you give me your email address, I'll put you on my mailing list.'

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

"When I was a boy, Santa would put coal in our socks if we were bad. Now I see he's using plastic explosives!"

'Every year, he gets just that little bit slower.'

'Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.'

'Tell him to cut it out - we're not into leather!'

'He picked it, and ate it.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways and likes to be paid in small unmarked bills"

'It isn't demon rum I need help with, cupcake. My problem is I'm as horny as a mountain goat.'

'Bloomin global warming...'

'Help support Santa off-season.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'Oh, Christ.'

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.