Festive Joker Gifts

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

Santa to shrink - 'I don't believe in myself.'

The season of goodwill - Xmas Party - "I believe after last year this one's being videod."

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."

'If you still don't feel Christmasy after looking at me, there's something wrong with you!'

Give to Santa For a Change.

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"They're all filled with gift cards."

'With all the cards and wrapping paper, there's so much more recycling after Christmas.' (Hundreds of booze bottle behind him)

'Wonder why they picked up Rudolph.'

Baldo eats mud cookies Gracie has made for Christmas.

'Keep running bunny! Someday people will finally forget what Christmas and Easter were about.'

'You guys hear about Ethel and Bob? Apparently they got used for eggnog.'

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Santa! I didn't think you visited people who'd been naughty.'

Furley hair transplant clinic - Christmas tree needles falling out in clinics window.

'He's losing it - big time.'

Skiing

"Describe him."

"I shouldn't be on your naughty list for anything I do as a young offender!"

"Here. This is for your reindeer. I don't want to be building brown snowmen this year!"

Night of the Latkes

Ice-Cube-IV

Inappropriate Stockings

"Who is Santa Claus?"

Crack-o'Lantern

"Do you hear what I hear?" "Fweeet!"

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."

"A little later, sonny, I'm off duty now."

Guess what you're getting for Christmas!

"I'm sorry, but with the price of kids toys today, I'm having trouble making ends meet."

'If you are a good boy, Santa will bring you the tires next year.'