Festive Joker Pillows

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

Santa to shrink - 'I don't believe in myself.'

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

Give to Santa For a Change.

'If you still don't feel Christmasy after looking at me, there's something wrong with you!'

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."

The season of goodwill - Xmas Party - "I believe after last year this one's being videod."

Skiing

Night of the Latkes

"They're all filled with gift cards."

"Describe him."

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Looks like you have a temperature."

'You guys hear about Ethel and Bob? Apparently they got used for eggnog.'

'Keep running bunny! Someday people will finally forget what Christmas and Easter were about.'

'He's losing it - big time.'

Baldo eats mud cookies Gracie has made for Christmas.

"I shouldn't be on your naughty list for anything I do as a young offender!"

Furley hair transplant clinic - Christmas tree needles falling out in clinics window.

"Because you look like a cabernet snowcone - that's how I know you've been at the wine again."

Ice-Cube-IV

'Wonder why they picked up Rudolph.'

'Santa! I didn't think you visited people who'd been naughty.'

'With all the cards and wrapping paper, there's so much more recycling after Christmas.' (Hundreds of booze bottle behind him)

"Here. This is for your reindeer. I don't want to be building brown snowmen this year!"

"Do you hear what I hear?" "Fweeet!"

"Mabe I shouldn't have left whiskey out for Santa instead of milk this year!"

"You have mistletoe."

Who's the boss?

Santa takes a bite out of a gingerbread cookie in a questionable location-he leaves a note directing the residents to his websiteblog . .

Crack-o'Lantern

Guess what you're getting for Christmas!