Christmas Joker Pillows

The dance routine worked better in rehearsals without the hot lights.

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

Reach for the Sky

Santas Pulling the Sleigh

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

Christmas tree exchange

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"For kids who think they can be naughty again after Christmas, I'm the Re-Po Elf."

The Bi-Polar Express.

'No, I haven't been a good boy this year. Now hand over your wallet fatso!'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Gentlemen, may I present you with Christmas elf droppings!'

He's a phony. I asked him to name his reindeer, and he included Wolf Blitzer

Slimline Santa

"I won't be needing you this year."

Night of the Latkes

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"A little under done?"

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Santa's Helpers

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Snowman Driver

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

Ice-Cube-IV

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'