Thanksgiving Joker Pillows

Why Pilgrims wore so many buckles...

"You haven't seen any turkeys around here, have you?!"

Night of the Latkes

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Get crazy once in a while

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Happy Turkey Day!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"A little under done?"

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Christmas tree exchange

"It was a botched surgery."

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

Turkey Autopsy

Ice-Cube-IV

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

Toilet humour

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Santa Claws...

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."