Thanksgiving Jokester Pillows

'Your x-rays don't look good.'

I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Makes sense to me.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Barnyard turkey carries sign: The End is Near, at Thanksgiving season.

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Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Bug hanging up stockings

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

Turkey Autopsy

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

Santa Elevator

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Mom! Is Santa's Naughty or Nice list in effect over summer vacation?"

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

'Just what I wanted. Not!'