Thanksgiving Jokester Pillows

'Your x-rays don't look good.'

I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Survival of the unfit on Thanksgiving

'Makes sense to me.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Barnyard turkey carries sign: The End is Near, at Thanksgiving season.

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Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Bug hanging up stockings

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

Turkey Autopsy

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

Santa Elevator

Blitzen isn't feeling well, so Mary Poppins agreed to fill in for him.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

Thanksgiving.

'How To Survive The Holidays'.

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

Ineffective Turkey Disguises