Thanksgiving Humor Pillows

'I'm having turducken, chiquaduck, or duckailkey...you decide!'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Try me/try me/try me...

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

'He's got your nose.'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Santa's Helpers

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'