Thanksgiving Comedy Buffs Pillows

"You should join us for Thanksgiving."

Piranhaclaus

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Turkey Autopsy

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

"You have the Hum bug.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'I love you guys!'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

"Any chance one of you might hang around and be our sitter for New Years Eve?"

"You know, Christmas isn't the only time I'm busy. ..the rest of the year I deliver for Amazon."

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

'Don't worry, I come in peace today: Merry Christmas!'

'You're seeing someone else, aren't you?'

Christmas 2020

Christmas Hat Tree