Festive Jokester Gifts

"We got you a dreidel."

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'He's hurt his back.'

"You smell like a chimney."

'Attention - I'm having an endocrinologist in tomorrow to look at all of you.'

Pirate peg leg Christmas stocking.

"Can you smell carrots?"

'So we're agreed on 'Wishing Seasons Greetings' with the caveat that we are in no way guaranteeing happiness of goodwill over the festive season!'

'Ok, enough of teh Ho, Ho, Ho just Blow, blow, blow!'

Santa Claus struggles to get into a chimney, revealing a thong.

'A couple of words may be misspelled, but as you can see, I asked for a dictionary.'

'Take your time Mr Jenkins and try and identify the individual who broke into your home.'

Drunk Christmas Angel

'I need something with a huge cargo rack and unlimited mileage.'

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

Larry the Elf saves Christmas

'No, Santa, you can't borrow it on Christmas Eve.'

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

Today's Sermon: Regift unto others, as you would have them regift unto you!

"If my husband starts nibbling your ear, you have my permission to confiscate his teeth."

Rudolf, the red nose reindeer uses battery charger to charge up his shiny nose.

'I guess you could say I'm on the cutting edge of naughty and nice.'

'Do you make lots of cash being in three shopping centres all at the same time?'

Sign Santa is growing older: 'Ah, Donner, Dancer...the one with a red nose...'

"I set your phone to alert you every five minutes of what I want for Christmas. It's annoying, but very effective."

Santa Claus sees a Christmas tree at the bottom of a well.

"Damn it Alice. You're the one who said you wanted a hairdryer for Christmas!!"

Santa 'Swiss Cheese' Claus.

"It's important to think ahead..."

"Why are we following traffic lights? Rudolph got the corona Virus."

Rudolph's Mask

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

Santa Accident

Rudolph unblocking a chimney