Instrumental Jokers Gifts

"I'm afraid it's bad news...You have a Tuba!"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Giggle.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Artist Painting his Television.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

Musical Accidents

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

Watch for Men Being Supid

Early music

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

'It certainly is a big one!'

Pinata Pranks