Senior Joker Gifts

Old husband is knitted over by old wife.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'Hole in one!!!!'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"It makes you look old."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Toilet humour

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

'They think I can walk on water.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Lion!'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"