Midlife Humor Gifts

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"This next one's for you, babe."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'Dang.'

Whale Pattern Balding

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"In layman's terms, I just rewound your biological clock."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

birthday meets reality

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."