Midlife Humor Appreciator Gifts

"Nothing serious, Bob - just a case of the forties."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'Dang.'

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"I told you not to have that boob job."

Model Village - snort! snort! sniff!

At home with Horny the Clown

This could be worse than the GFC...an emotional Santa logs on and de-friends Rudolph.'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

"It's just another birthday. . ."

birthday meets reality

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

'Pinocchio, have you seen my viagra?'

Whale Pattern Balding,

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"