Midlife Comedian Gifts

Whale Pattern Balding,

Middle-Age Superheroes

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"He's an indoor cat."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Whale Pattern Balding

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

Same Sexless Marriage

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

Live: Middle Aged Men

The Fountain of Menopause

'...well it's about to be a midriff crisis.'

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"Ever since Harry found his expiration date, he's been going through a mid-shelf-life crisis."