Midlife Comedian T-Shirts

Whale Pattern Balding,

"He's an indoor cat."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Whale Pattern Balding

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

Same Sexless Marriage

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

Live: Middle Aged Men

The Fountain of Menopause

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"I'm sure you two will discover that you're both plagued by the same nonexistent problems."

A vendor with his tongue stuck out in disgust stands next to a food cart selling brussels sprouts.

'...well it's about to be a midriff crisis.'

"Ever since Harry found his expiration date, he's been going through a mid-shelf-life crisis."