Midlife Crisis Humorist T-Shirts

"I'm sure you two will discover that you're both plagued by the same nonexistent problems."

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Sisyphus and coronavirus

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

Quick Spring Fling

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

Baxter finally gets a life

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Second midlife crisis.

Caption Contest TK

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

You Know You're Old When...

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."