Aging With Humor Pillows

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Make Love Handles Not War

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'You are always living in the past!'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"It's the Florida kid."

Old Darth Vader

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

"Kick me"

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.