Aging Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'You are always living in the past!'

"It's the Florida kid."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

'How can I put this... My bladder is not what you'd call a 'control freak'.'

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

"Nothing serious, Bob - just a case of the forties."

'On the other hand, I really don't do that much reading.'