Laugh-loving Elder Gifts

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'You are always living in the past!'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

100th Birthday

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"The wild walker"

"You've lost a little weight since your last physical, but you're also two inches shorter."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

'Hey, Flower! That crabgrass put a perfectly legal chokehold on you! Stop your whining!'

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

"Welcome to my third annual Senior Soak-A-Palooza!"

Make Love Handles Not War