Laugh-loving Grandparent Gifts

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Young MacDonald

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"No. I have the baby."

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Makes me feel young again!

'Child resistant cap'

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

"Mommie!"

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

Caution Slippery When Wet.

This was so fun! And now I'm going to call your mommy in here so I can go get a glass of wine. Amy's aunternal instincts kick in.

Lady with walking frame on skis.

That's what I call value.

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

"Grandpa fatty died a heroic death - he bit through the main power cable in the slaughterhouse."

'Mom! Grandma is sneaking a smoke again!'

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

Jewish Mama Lightbulb Insertion

'There's gin in the thermos. Make sure not to share it with the kids, even if they lose.'

I shrank another inch! Woo-hoo!

'Grandpa, can your inner child come out and play?'

ACME Kissograns...