Kitchen Tools Pillows

"I've learned a few tricks for dealing with my arthritis. One is to invest in a good jar opener."

'It was owned by my sister, a little old lady who only used it on sundaes.'

Presents should always be given in good faith and with the sole intention of delighting the recepient need, faith, delight,

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'Apparently, in the kitchen it is more masculine not to use a power tool.'

Sausage Guillotine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Salt and Pepper

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"You're never home."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

The Perfect Foil

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Culinary surgery.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"