Kitchen Tool Enthusiast Pillows

'Oh, my wife invented that -- it's for mashing potatoes.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

A crab with a utility knife claw

CLEAR!

The Hammer

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

Scales