Kitcheware Enthusiast Pillows

"Congrats! It's a spork."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Thank you for the wedding present.

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Swiss Kitchen

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

Origin of the 'spork'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

The History of Anti-stick

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

Flatware Follies.

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

Whistling Kettle

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

"Sorry about the excessive saffron — the Jets fumbled on their own 20."

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'