Kitchenware Enthusiast Pillows

"We're raising the children as forks."

Spoons

"I had a feeling you'd appreciate the PTFE and PFOA-free non-stick, ceramic coating."

A spoon you can run away with, but a spork is the kind of practical utensil you marry.

'Well, how abouy a new set of saucepans?'

"What is it with saucepans and your son Ned, Mrs Kelly?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Thank you for the wedding present.

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

The History of Anti-stick

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

Swiss Kitchen

Origin of the 'spork'

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

Whistling Kettle

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

A seafood restaurants has live fish swimming around its kitchen.

"Sorry about the excessive saffron — the Jets fumbled on their own 20."