Dinnerware Enthusiasts Pillows

'I Love this gingham plaid paper service! They're so pretty, I'd hate to put food on them!'

Life is for the birds.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"The usual."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'