Kitchen Goods Pillows

'No we don't need it, but it was a bargain.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"You're the lid to my pot."

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Salt and Pepper

The Perfect Foil

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"You're never home."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."