Kitchen Goods T-Shirts

'No we don't need it, but it was a bargain.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"You're the lid to my pot."

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Too much cilantro

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Salt and Pepper

"You're never home."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

The Perfect Foil

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

The secret lives of household things.