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Choose joy, Al! If you mean "joy" dishwashing liquid, I prefer "Dawn."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Here's your sweater back."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

'The old one fell apart.'

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

Ikea for Hippies

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

"The washing machine is very energy efficient. I just wish Frank was!"

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."