Home Gadgetry T-Shirts

"Careful. That house has a taser."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Electric Blanket.

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"You're never home."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

The secret lives of household things.

"My compliments to the can opener."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

Onion Guillotine

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."