Kitchen Tools T-Shirts

"I've learned a few tricks for dealing with my arthritis. One is to invest in a good jar opener."

Bakery. How do you manage to always get your buns in that perfect shape? I use that roll model.

'It was owned by my sister, a little old lady who only used it on sundaes.'

Presents should always be given in good faith and with the sole intention of delighting the recepient need, faith, delight,

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'Apparently, in the kitchen it is more masculine not to use a power tool.'

Sausage Guillotine

"That's not a pepper grinder. That's Alexa."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Salt and Pepper

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"You're never home."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

The Perfect Foil

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'