Collecting Kitchen Tools T-Shirts

A cheese grater has won a boxing match against a block of cheese - 'I am the grater!'

Scales

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

Handy-lion

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

All Major Cash Honored.

Origin of the 'spork'

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

DIY expert.

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

Super Homeworld

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'