Kitchenware Collector T-Shirts

'You've got irritable bowl syndrome.'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

"You should meet my wife. You'd like her."

Bananas eye the blender

Hey, where I go, my family goes. Why the dish didn

'I should never have run off with him.'

'What makes you think it was a woman, inspector?'

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

Home Appliances Marathon

"So after the accident, I had to have a plate inserted in my head. . ."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

'It's a spork!'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

Origin of the 'spork'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Flatware Follies.

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"So much to do... so little time."