Collecting Kitchen Items T-Shirts

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

'Our relationship has never been the same since Jeff ran off with that spoon...'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Scales

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

Mostly Identified Flying Objects

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

Origin of the 'spork'

'Can, you hear me?'

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

Flatware Follies.

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

The Spoonish Inquisition

'That was our first ashtray... we both quite and now we use it as a candy dish.'

'You've got irritable bowl syndrome.'

There's a fork in the road.

Teapot

Bananas eye the blender

He sold appliances.

"Profiling!"

Ants take cheese and grater

DNA tested and yet my contents are still a mystery.

People putting their grocery shopping into shopping carts that are cornucopias.

A cheese grater has won a boxing match against a block of cheese - 'I am the grater!'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'

An attempt at kitchen cabinet stand-up comedy. Dinner is on me tonight!

"And how exactly am I supposed to peel the carrots when we don't even have an electronic multiblade adjustable potato peeler?"

'I should never have run off with him.'

Receiving the early-Morning T-Mail