Kitchenware Collector Pillows

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

"You should meet my wife. You'd like her."

Bananas eye the blender

'I should never have run off with him.'

'What makes you think it was a woman, inspector?'

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'

Home Appliances Marathon

"So after the accident, I had to have a plate inserted in my head. . ."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

A Fork-lift.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

Origin of the 'spork'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Flatware Follies.

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

'That was our first ashtray... we both quite and now we use it as a candy dish.'

"So much to do... so little time."

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."