Ironic Parents Pillows

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny has raised you better than this. Precinct.

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Are we there yet?'

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Monster mobiles.'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'Apparently the poor love's walkman is broken.'

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'My husband wants to know if the sonogram can tell if the baby is a Red Sox or Yankees fan.'

Dad’s Homework Assignment

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.