Funny Parents Pillows

'Are we there yet?'

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

'So you're Susan's boyfriend - you're not a bit as I'd imagined you!'

Travelling with child

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'Tell me what we're getting away from again?'

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

How witness protection really works...

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Monster mobiles.'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Our Yuppie Dad

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."