Humorous Parent Pillows

Our Yuppie Dad

"What have I said about sneaking girls into your room."

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

"It's the kids! Quick! Stash the cigs!"

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

"I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Trick or Tweet

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"She's a natural!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Billy strip: help with homework.

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."