Parent With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'So, these three little mice are blind and the farmer's wife comes along and cuts off their tails with a carving knife? Who writes this suff, Stephen King?'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Fat Kid 11- Dribbles in a confined space

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Did you eat the ears off the bunny?! The kids think it's gross and creepy.'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

"You stop it, now!"

'Good book?'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

Husband and Child in Pram

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"My kid said his first two words and you know what he said; 'I'll sue.'."