Mom With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

'Starting from bedrock again, Mom?'

'My mom's so overprotective she won't let me run with sharp cheddar in my hands.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'A grass box for the children is a wonderful idea.'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

For mom's birthday, Dylan wanted to surprise her by making breakfast in bed.

"Were the 'Trolls' internet trolls?"

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

'He's adopted.'

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

Hey, don't just throw that on the ground! What were you raised by people?

I have this overwhelming urge to have kids