Mom With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

'Starting from bedrock again, Mom?'

'My mom's so overprotective she won't let me run with sharp cheddar in my hands.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

For mom's birthday, Dylan wanted to surprise her by making breakfast in bed.

"Were the 'Trolls' internet trolls?"

'A grass box for the children is a wonderful idea.'

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

'He's adopted.'

Okay, one more time... Mom is expecting a baby, but that doesn't mean you'll be sold as a used kid. Got it now?

"Hey kids! - look what I found at the local animal shelter!"

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'