Lighthearted Mom Pillows

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Push for Disco...

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Husband and Child in Pram

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'I don't know what these dots are ... but ya mind if I connect them?'

Add your kids' ages together...

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

'Can I just remind everyone once again that baby yoga is non-competitive.'

For mom's birthday, Dylan wanted to surprise her by making breakfast in bed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long it's been since he had a bowel movement."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'