Mom-to-be With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Too posh to push - Cesarean Clinic.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

The Mothership

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Mobile Phone Mobile.

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

'I sentence you to hard labor.'

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'