Mom-to-be Chuckler Pillows

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Give us a toot...'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

Open other end

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Two breasts: No waiting

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

'I sentence you to hard labor.'

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

Big book of daft names for kids.

'Believe me honey - YOU don't need to do the pelvic floor!!'

"You're what?!"

Easy birth ATM

'A young boxer'.

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

"Very funny, Stuart, now take off my maternity shirt before you stretch it out of shape."

'Yes, it's great to be pregnant, but a 22-months pregnancy is too long: I want to see my baby!'

Geder Reveal Party

Sue, Ted, The Twins.

Too posh to push - Cesarean Clinic.