Mommy-to-be Humor Lover Pillows

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

The Mothership

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

A Mom's Purse

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

Wild Child

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'You don't have to look after them much at this age - they don't remember anything.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'