Mommy-to-be Humor Lover Pillows

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Mom dwarves.

The Mothership

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

A Mom's Purse

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Wild Child

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'You don't have to look after them much at this age - they don't remember anything.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."