Expecting Humor Lover Pillows

Maternity Fashion: Zika Net

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

Pregnant vs. Old.

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

101 Placenta Recipes

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"Oh, oh!!"

Please take a number...

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!

'Not that sort of pool party.'

Big book of daft names for kids.

'Does my bun look big in this?'

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

'Believe me honey - YOU don't need to do the pelvic floor!!'

'We want to thank you, Doc...The bag worked!'