Pregnancy Humor Aficionado Pillows

"No it isn't great news- how would you like to be pregnant for seventeen years?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

101 Placenta Recipes

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'