Pregnancy Humor Aficionado Pillows

"No it isn't great news- how would you like to be pregnant for seventeen years?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

101 Placenta Recipes

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Please take a number...