Pregnancy Humor Fan Pillows

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'I really don't know — it was a group hug.'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

101 Placenta Recipes

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo