Expecting Humor Lover Gifts

Maternity Fashion: Zika Net

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Pregnant vs. Old.

"Oh, oh!!"

'Why should I? He didn't attend the conception.'

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

101 Placenta Recipes

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

"Gee, my first man cave!"

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

Please take a number...

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!

'Not that sort of pool party.'

Big book of daft names for kids.

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

'Does my bun look big in this?'

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

'Believe me honey - YOU don't need to do the pelvic floor!!'